I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
whose ass print is on the piano?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
