he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
