Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
