Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
