I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
