There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
