The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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