i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Randomize