so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
