I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
