That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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