theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
