I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
