Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Randomize
