I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
