Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
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Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
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i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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