you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
