I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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