OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
