Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
