This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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