I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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