sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Randomize
