I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
