he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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