woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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