the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize