Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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