you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
