I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
it glows. i had to have it.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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