I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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