the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
