forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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