So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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