I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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