Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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