Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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