you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
