wrigley field is MILF paradise
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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