Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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