is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
