he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
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