the day after is always just damage control
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Randomize
