What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Redeem this text for a blowjob
cat food counts as protein by the way
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
