my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
