I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
