I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You may now shotgun with the bride
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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