: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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