I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
