Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
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