She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
