i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
