I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
