office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
