He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
No stitches, just platelets and will power
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
