Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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