I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
