What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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