hell yes lets make some ravioli
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
